Self-Care During Difficult Times

Realistic, gentle ways to care for yourself when life feels overwhelming

By Scot Bradford
11 min read
Black woman, breath and hand on chest, for meditation and wellness being peaceful to relax. Bokeh, African American female and lady outdoor, in nature and being calm for breathing exercise and health

When life falls apart—after a loss, a crisis, or a season of overwhelming stress—"self-care" can sound like a shallow buzzword.

Bubble baths? Face masks? Yoga classes?

You might be thinking, I'm just trying to remember to eat today.

The truth is, real self-care during difficult times is not about luxury. It's about survival. It's about tending to a heart and body carrying far more than they were ever meant to carry alone.

You don't need to do it perfectly. You don't need a perfect morning routine or a 10-step wellness plan. You just need small, honest ways of saying to yourself:

"My life still matters, even in this pain. I'm worth taking care of."

Let's talk about why self-care matters right now—and how to make it gentle, realistic, and spiritually grounded.

1

Why Self-Care Matters When You're Hurting

In hard seasons—grief, illness, family crisis, financial stress—your nervous system is on overload. Your body is doing everything it can to keep you going: fight, flight, freeze, or just "make it through today."

Without care, that constant strain can show up as:

  • Exhaustion and burnout
  • Foggy thinking, forgetfulness, or irritability
  • Weakened immune system—getting sick more easily
  • Feeling numb, hopeless, or disconnected from yourself and others

Self-care doesn't erase the hard thing you're facing. But it does:

  • Give your body and mind small breaks from constant stress
  • Keep you grounded enough to make decisions, care for others, and function
  • Quietly remind your soul: I am still here. I am still loved. I am still worth nurturing.

From a spiritual perspective, caring for yourself is a way of honoring the life and body you've been given. It's a way of saying "yes" to staying here, even when being here hurts.

2

Redefining Self-Care: It's Not Selfish

A lot of people feel guilty putting themselves on the list at all. Especially caregivers, parents, spiritual people, or those who are used to being "the strong one."

You might think:

"Other people have it worse."

"I should be focusing on my kids, my partner, my family—not myself."

"Taking time for me right now feels wrong, when everything is such a mess."

Here's a gentle reframe:

  • Self-care isn't self-centered; it's sustainable. You can't pour from an empty cup.
  • Self-care protects your ability to love others. Rested, nourished, supported you is more present, patient, and steady than drained, depleted you.
  • Self-care is part of your spiritual practice. Many traditions teach loving your neighbor as yourself—which implies that loving yourself is not optional.

You might even use a simple prayer or intention:

"God, help me care for this body and heart You've trusted me with.
Help me see myself as worthy of kindness too."

Self-care doesn't mean you stop caring for others. It means you include yourself in the circle of people who matter.

3

The Basics: Body, Mind, and Spirit

When life is overwhelming, going back to basics is not "too small." It's often exactly what's needed.

Caring for Your Body

You don't need a perfect health plan. Think in tiny steps:

Sleep (or rest):

  • • Aim for some kind of wind-down ritual, even if short—dim lights, silence, soft music, a short prayer.
  • • If sleep is hard, give yourself permission to simply rest: lay down, close your eyes, breathe slowly.

Food and water:

  • • Eat something—anything—regularly, even if it's not "healthy" or homemade. Your body needs fuel.
  • • Keep a water bottle nearby. Sipping throughout the day quietly supports your brain and body.

Movement:

  • • A short walk, gentle stretching, or even standing at an open window can help your nervous system reset.
  • • You don't have to "work out." You're just reminding your body that it's alive and cared for.

You might see these as physical prayers:

"With this glass of water, I care for the life in me."

"With these few steps, I honor the body still carrying me."

Caring for Your Mind and Emotions

Your inner world is doing heavy lifting too.

Helpful practices:

Name what you feel:

"Right now I feel sad/angry/numb/exhausted."
Naming doesn't fix it, but it keeps you from turning against yourself.

Limit overload:

Take breaks from the news, social media, or people who drain you.
Give yourself permission not to respond to every message right away.

Find safe outlets:

Journaling, crying, talking with a trusted person, or therapy
Creative outlets—drawing, music, crafts—can give your emotions a path to flow.

Caring for Your Spirit

Spiritual self-care doesn't have to be fancy or "strong." It can be very simple:

  • A short daily prayer:

    "God, I'm tired. Be near."

    "Hold what I can't hold today."

  • Lighting a candle and sitting in silence for a minute or two
  • Listening to calming spiritual music or readings
  • Being in nature—trees, sky, water—even for a few minutes

Some days, your prayer might just be:

"I'm here."

And that's enough.

4

Making Self-Care a Priority (Without Overwhelming Yourself)

In difficult times, even the idea of a "self-care plan" can feel like one more thing on your to-do list. Instead, think in micro-steps and non-negotiables.

Choose 1–3 "Bare Minimums"

Ask yourself:

"On an absolutely awful day, what are 1–3 tiny things I can still try to do for myself?"

Examples:

  • Drink one full glass of water
  • Eat at least one real meal
  • Step outside for 3–5 minutes
  • Say one short prayer or grounding phrase

Write them down somewhere visible. These are not goals to judge yourself by; they're anchors to gently return to when you feel lost.

Build Self-Care Into What You Already Do

Instead of adding lots of new tasks, attach self-care to existing ones:

  • When you make coffee or tea → take three slow breaths and feel the warmth.
  • When you shower → imagine the water washing off some of the day's heaviness.
  • When you get in bed → whisper one thing you're grateful you made it through, even if it's simply, "I survived today."
5

Dealing with Guilt Around Self-Care

Guilt is common, especially in grief or crisis.

You might think:

"How can I rest when there's so much to do?"

"How can I enjoy anything when they're gone?"

"If I slow down, I might feel the pain more."

You're not wrong to notice those tensions. But consider:

  • Rest doesn't disrespect your pain—it respects your limits.
  • Enjoying a small moment (a laugh, a sunset, a good meal) doesn't mean you've forgotten the hard thing—it means your heart is big enough for both.
  • Pausing to care for yourself may actually give you more capacity to face the pain, instead of numbing or running from it.

Spiritually, you might remind yourself:

"I am not dishonoring my loved one—or my struggle—by staying alive, eating, resting, and sometimes even smiling. Life itself is sacred, even when it hurts."

When guilt shows up, you might gently answer it with:

"I can care for myself and honor what I've lost. Both can be true."

6

Let Others Be Part of Your Self-Care

Self-care isn't only what you do alone. It can also be receiving care from others.

Ways to let people support you:

  • Saying yes when someone offers a meal, ride, or help with chores
  • Asking a friend to sit with you—even in silence—on a hard day
  • Letting family know: "I'm trying to take better care of myself. Can we work out a way to share some responsibilities?"

Remember:

  • Needing help doesn't mean you're weak; it means you're human.
  • Other people often want to help but don't know how. Giving them a small, specific way to show up is a gift to them too.

In a spiritual sense, the care of others can be one way that God, or Love, reaches you—through human hands, words, and presence.

7

Knowing When You Need More Support

Self-care is powerful, but sometimes you need extra help beyond what you and loved ones can do on your own.

It might be time to seek professional support if:

  • You feel stuck in deep despair or numbness for a long time
  • Daily tasks feel almost impossible most days
  • You're using substances or harmful behaviors just to get through
  • You have thoughts that life isn't worth living or that others would be better off without you

Reaching out to a therapist, counselor, spiritual leader, or doctor is not a sign that your self-care "failed." It is a form of self-care—a courageous one.

"My pain is heavy. It deserves more support than I can give it alone."

A Gentle Closing Thought

Self-care during difficult times is not about becoming your "best self." It's about keeping your soul and body afloat while the storm passes through.

It might look like:

  • Drinking water when you'd rather skip it
  • Sitting in the sun for five minutes between tears
  • Saying, "I need a break," even if it's just for a few breaths
  • Asking God, "Please hold me together for one more day"

You don't have to earn the right to be cared for—by others, by God, or by yourself.

You are worthy of care

simply because you are here.

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