Coping With Loss: Daily Strategies

Small, honest strategies to help you get through each day while learning to live with your loss

By Scot Bradford
12 min read
Young smiling woman drinking tea and looking through the window at home. Copy space.

When you've lost someone you love, people often ask big questions:

"How are you?"
"How are you holding up?"

Most days, the real question feels smaller and more raw:

"How do I get through today?"

Grief isn't just about the big dates and anniversaries. It's in the mornings when their side of the bed is empty, in the silence after a busy house goes quiet, in the moment you reach for your phone to text them and remember you can't.

This isn't a list of ways to "fix" your grief—because grief isn't something to fix. These are small, honest strategies you can lean on day by day while you learn how to live with your loss. Take what helps; leave what doesn't. There's no right way to do this.

1

Start the Day with One Gentle Intention

Mornings can be brutal. Before the day even starts, you might already feel exhausted.

Instead of asking, "How am I supposed to do this whole day?" try asking a smaller question:

"What is one gentle intention for today?"

Examples:

  • "Today, I will just focus on breathing and eating something."
  • "Today, I will be kind to myself, even if I don't get much done."
  • "Today, I will let myself remember one good moment with them."

If you're spiritually inclined, you might pair your intention with a simple prayer or phrase:

"God, I have no idea how to do today. Walk with me."

"Please carry what I can't carry right now."

You don't have to feel strong. The intention isn't about performance; it's about giving your heart a small anchor.

2

Create Tiny Routines That Hold You

In grief, everything can feel out of control. Tiny routines—nothing fancy—can give a bit of structure when your world feels shattered.

Some gentle daily routines might be:

  • Morning check-in: Sit with a cup of tea for 5 minutes and simply notice: What do I feel in my body? Tired? Numb? Sad? Angry? There's no wrong answer.
  • One act of care: Shower, brush your teeth, or change into clean clothes, even if you put on another set of pajamas. These little acts quietly tell your nervous system, "I'm still here. I still matter."
  • Evening wind-down: Light a candle, take a few deep breaths, say a short prayer or thought for your loved one.

Routines don't erase grief, but they can hold you when your emotions are all over the place—like rails on a staircase you're too tired to climb.

3

Stay Connected to Your Loved One in Simple Ways

You don't have to "move on" or pretend they didn't exist. Staying connected in new ways can be deeply comforting.

Some families find peace in small daily gestures:

  • Talking to them out loud or in your heart: "I miss you. I hope you're at peace."
  • Keeping a photo nearby and saying "good morning" or "good night"
  • Wearing something of theirs—jewelry, a sweatshirt, a watch
  • Playing a song they loved or cooking a meal they used to make

Spiritually, you might see this as:

  • Trusting that love doesn't just vanish—it changes form
  • Believing their soul is held by God, the universe, or a loving Presence
  • Imagining them cheering you on as you keep going, even through tears

There's no rule that says you have to let go to heal. Often, healing looks like weaving their memory into your everyday life.

4

Make Space for Your Feelings—All of Them

Grief feelings are messy. You might cycle through sadness, anger, numbness, guilt, laughter, and confusion all in a single afternoon.

Instead of judging your feelings, try to notice them.

You might say to yourself:

"Right now I feel angry. That makes sense."

"Right now I feel nothing. That's my body protecting me."

"Right now I feel a little bit okay. That doesn't mean I've stopped loving them."

A few practical ways to let feelings move through:

  • Crying when you can: Tears are not a weakness; they're a release valve.
  • Journaling without editing: Write what you'd never say out loud. Then close the notebook. You don't have to make it pretty.
  • Safe venting: Talk to a trusted person, therapist, or support group where you don't have to protect others from your pain.

Spiritually, you might hold this simple belief:

"Whatever I'm feeling today, God can handle it."

You don't have to clean your heart up before bringing it to prayer.

5

Let People Help You (Even a Little)

When you're grieving, even basic tasks can feel like climbing a mountain. It's okay to not be able to handle everything.

Consider letting people help in small, concrete ways:

  • Bringing a meal
  • Watching the kids for an hour
  • Driving you to an appointment
  • Sitting with you in silence, no fixing, no advice

You might say:

"I don't know what I need, but could you just be with me?"

"It would really help if you could handle [one task] this week."

If you're a "strong one" in the family or community, receiving can feel uncomfortable. But think of it this way: you would do it for them in a heartbeat. Letting others care for you is not a burden; it's allowing love to flow both directions.

From a spiritual angle, other people's kindness can be one of the ways God or the universe shows up—through meals, hugs, texts, or quiet presence.

6

Find One Small Island of Calm Each Day

Grief is exhausting. Your nervous system is constantly on high alert—memories, triggers, tasks, emotions all tangled together.

Try to give your body and spirit one "island of calm" daily, even for a few minutes:

Possible "islands":

  • Sitting outside and noticing the sky, trees, or wind
  • Taking a warm shower or bath and really feeling the water
  • Listening to a soothing song or spiritual music with your eyes closed
  • Doing a breathing practice

Simple Breathing Practice:

  • → Inhale gently to a count of 4
  • → Hold for 2
  • → Exhale slowly to a count of 6
  • → Repeat a few times

You might pair this with a short spiritual phrase:

"Peace, even for a moment."

"God, breathe for me when I feel like I can't."

These moments won't erase your pain, but they give your nervous system tiny breaks so you don't burn out completely.

7

Lower the Bar and Redefine "Okay"

Before your loss, "okay" might have meant productive, upbeat, or emotionally stable. After a loss, "okay" needs a new definition.

On some days, "okay" might simply mean:

  • You got out of bed
  • You answered one text or email
  • You ate something
  • You allowed yourself to cry—or allowed yourself not to

There is no spiritual gold star for pretending you're fine. Honesty is far closer to holiness than perfection.

You can even check in each morning:

What is one thing I must do today?
(Non-negotiable: medicine, work, caring for kids)

What is one thing I can let go of today?
(Extra chores, expectations, unnecessary obligations)

You are not lazy, broken, or failing. You are grieving. That alone is heavy work.

8

Talk to Someone Who "Gets It"

Around you, people may mean well but say things that sting:

"They're in a better place."

"At least they're not suffering."

"Everything happens for a reason."

Sometimes those phrases help. Sometimes they just hurt.

It can be powerful to talk with:

  • A grief counselor or therapist
  • A spiritual leader who understands loss
  • A grief support group (in person or online)
  • A friend who has gone through something similar

You don't have to tell your story perfectly. Just having a place where you don't have to minimize your pain can be a lifeline.

Spiritually, remember: doubting, questioning, and struggling do not push you away from God. They're often part of an honest relationship with the Divine.

9

Honor the "Waves" When They Come

A smell, a song, a street, a date on the calendar—suddenly, a wave of grief crashes in. It might feel like:

  • Tight chest
  • Lump in your throat
  • Sudden tears
  • A heavy, sinking feeling

Instead of fighting the wave, see if you can:

1
Notice it: "A wave is here."
2
Allow it, if you can: Find somewhere safe (bathroom, car, corner of a room) and let yourself feel for a moment.
3
Ride it: Take slow breaths. Place a hand on your heart or chest. Remind yourself, "This is a wave. It will pass."

You might whisper something spiritual to yourself:

"God, stay with me in this wave."

"I am still connected to them, even in this pain."

Waves don't mean you're going backward. They mean your love is still alive and that certain moments bring it closer to the surface.

10

Close the Day with a Simple Ritual

Evenings can bring a different kind of ache. The day is done, distractions fade, and your grief can grow louder.

A small nightly ritual can help you gently "close" the day:

  • Light a candle and say your loved one's name.
  • Speak (or think) one thing you miss about them and one thing you're grateful for today—even if it's tiny, like "I got through today" or "Someone checked in on me."
  • Offer a short prayer or intention:

    "God, hold them. God, hold me. Help me rest."

This doesn't fix tomorrow. But it can give your heart permission to soften for a moment before sleep.

You Don't Have to Do This Perfectly

Coping with loss day to day isn't about being strong, positive, or spiritually "together." It's about:

  • Taking the next small step, not the next 10
  • Letting love, faith, and support meet you exactly where you are—not where you think you should be
  • Remembering that your loved one's story didn't end with their last breath; it continues in you—in your memories, your choices, your heart

If all you did today was breathe, exist, and make it to the end of this article, that is already a lot.

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